My guy friend at lunch today, giving me a massage

  • Matt: May i ask you to remove your jacket?
  • Me: ...
  • Me: ...
  • Me: ...
  • Me: No.
  • Matt: No?
  • Me: Sorry, it's, um, a long story
  • Matt: Well we have time!
  • Me: I..uh...
  • Me: Um...
  • Me: ...
  • Me: ...
  • Me: I have surgery scars.
  • Matt: Oh.
  • How the fuck could I explain 200+ scars?